Once upon a time, in a far away land, their lived a very evil and constipated man.  He was constipated because he lost his butt in the war.  His name was Mr. Pink and he lived in a big cave.  But it was a lavishly furnished cave with all the newest luxuries: automatic cave door opener, PrimeStar TV satellite, etc. Everything a constipated evil old man could want.  
	The only problem with his cave was that it had no bathroom.  When he had guests over they would die of secondary bowel infections.  He solved that problem by buying a real big ice box to put all his guests in so they wouldn't spoil.
	One day someone knocked on his door. "Heh-low," said a voice from behind the door.  "Could you open this damn door, all my toes are fallin off," said the voice.  The evil old constipated man said no, which shows just how evil he is.  But just then a nuclear bomb detonated 40 miles away.  In an instant they were both just piles of ashes.  But remember, on of those piles is an evil constipated pile of ashes.



The moral of the story:  

	There are several butt replacement techniques in effect nowadays.  If that guy had one of those done, he might not be so evil.